stop stealing my life

okay i know your favorite activities are

a) talking a lot
b) talking about yourself
c) talking about shit i don't care about
d) impressing people by endless talking

but please for the love of god, stop stealing things that I've said in conversations we've had and saying them to other people. in front of me. it's my life. i'm the one who thought of what you're saying and said it to you at some point. and, i said it much more elegantly and smartly. because i'm much more elegant and smart than you are. so either get it right or, you know what, just stop stealing my material. jesus!

Fudging STOP calling me at noon and asking me first thing if I am awake yet. This is why we have not had a pleasant conversation in a few months. You have done this the past eighteen times I have talked to you on the phone, and every time you start the conversation with an insult that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that you think I am in college and I sleep until noon every day and that DRIVES ME CRAZY AND MAKES ME WANT TO HANG UP ON YOU. I am NOT IN COLLEGE. THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT, BLUURGH

Other things I would love for you to stop saying to me:

*At least you're almost done with school! Soon you won't have to work this hard anymore because you'll have that degree!

*At least you're almost done with school! You've been in school since you were 4 years old, you need a break!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. I'm not "almost done with school" and even when I am, I sure as shit won't be "taking a nice break" from using my brain. I'm pretty sure that working in the real world is even more demanding than being in school. Sheesh.

The Temptress Knocks at My Door

I was going to write a half thought out poem but deleted it instead and I feel soooo much better :)

"The Silver Swan" by Orlando Gibbons

The Silver Swan who, living, had no note,
When death approach'd, unlock'd her silent throat.
Leaning her breast against the reedy shore,
Thus sung her first and last, And sung no more:
"Farewell all joys, O death come close mine eyes.
More geese than swans now live, more fools than wise."

I got offered a new job today, and I want it, but I'm scared. I have to decide by the end of the week.

My heart splits in two and I imagine it extending out of my chest
Reaching for the first girl I'm attracted to
Or perhaps someone I used to be
And it wraps itself around them and throws us onto my bed
and leaves me there in that post-emptiness that surfaces when you do things like that
But my hope resides in an illusion of control which I hope is strong enough to save me
And save me for the time when my heart really can split