Why do we ALWAYS HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT TO DO???? I have my own set of friends that I never get to see, and you know what? I like them a helluva lot more than I like your friends. All your friends do is sit around and drink and talk about sports and make unfortunate vulgar references to their sexual conquests. I don't like thinking of you being like this before we met. All being with them does is remind me of how I know you used to be. I get that sinking feeling in my stomach and I start having all these doubts. I hate thinking about all the drinking, the drugs, the numerous women you've been with...and the parties we go to...God, every girl I see I have to wonder if you've slept with her, thought about sleeping with her, or would sleep with her if I weren't there. I don't want to go through that.

The Tear

When I was 16 I fell in love with a girl who broke my heart. I wrote a poem about it and published it in the school literary magazine. Stylistically it wasn't all that good, but it really pinned down the moment for me. After high school ended a friend of mine came up to me and recited parts back to me and told me he knew how I felt. It made me smile. The last time I saw him, he said the same thing to me again. He told me it had helped him get through a hard time. He had been in and out of rehab, but this time he was doing better. The girl had been long gone and I'm pretty sure no one else remembered it so it turned into something the two of us shared. Him and Me. It didn't matter who had written it. It was a feeling we shared. I thought that was special.

Last night I got a phone call. It was his cousin. She told me he had overdosed and was dead. He was 24 years old and now he's dead. My prayers go out to his family. Just because a life is short, doesn't mean it wasn't well lived. I hope his death was an accident and that he died partying instead of purposely. I hope I helped brighten his life because he brightened mine.

To everyone else, please think of those who are close to you and treat them well. When it comes down to it, they're what you have and make your life rich. Keep your light bright.

Diss Me Again And I'll Savage Your Ankles

1. Stop talking about training for a marathon while you stuff plates of cookies in your mouth.
2. Stop laying your wet clothes out over my computer.
3. Stop, for that matter, selecting and buying clothes in the wrong sizes. How do you sit through so many episodes of WNTW with me without understanding this?
4. Stop interrupting me to ignore what I'm saying and talk over me.
5. Stop feigning hatred of people in my life that you think I want you to hate. i don't care what you think of them.
6. Stop calling your brother ridiculous nicknames.
7. STOP putting your dishes, unrinsed, in the sink with a guilty look to me as if to say, "even if you told me to rinse it out I won't do it right, so I may as well just sneak it into the sink so you can do it later"
8. STOP buying shit at target. Seriously. Just because it's a dollar, you are not OBLIGATED to buy it.
9. STOP telling me for a week you are going to clean your room yesterday and then not do it.
10. STOP STOP STOP sitting two feet away from me when I'm reading the Sunday paper, going through the ads and shouting out your favorites. I HATE ADS! I HATE THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN AD AND A SALE! JUST BECAUSE THEY MAKE A CIRCULAR DOES NOT MEAN IT'S A GOOD DEAL!! And stop READING the blasted things aloud!
11. STOP spending money you don't have yet because you think you are getting a tax refund.
12. STOP using my laundry supplies. You are such a crappy roommate. It would be fine if we'd all decided to share detergent, but we never talked about that, you just march into my room and take it when you want to use it. I AM NOT YOUR GODDAMN MOTHER
13. Tell your mother to stop advising me to "just get on 'her'" about doing your share of things. It's not my place. I hate this "place." You're a horrible burden and I don't know how to get rid of you.
14. STOP dropping hints about what ELSE you'd like for Christmas. I already got you nine thousand things. I'm not burnign you more shitty cds because you pointed out how you "wouldn't MIND having" them.
15. STOP SAYING "I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING THAT!!!" about shit that you would never use nor could ever need nor want!!!!! ARGH


This was a bad, bad idea on my part. I want to change my mind. Booooooo.

I like the girls who would drink a boy under the table just to crush his ego
I like the girls who pee with the bathroom door open cause they don't give a fuck
I like the girls who know how to take it easy when life gets tough
I like the girls who are smarter, faster, and love better than I
I like the girls who don't need me but want me anyway

I made a small heart out of wax and I wanted to give it to you
But I was afraid of what might happen to it on the way. It could have broken or damaged or lost in it's travels. Or a hand could have taken it on the way.
So I padded it in bubble wrap and taped it nice and tight.
But when you received it, you didn't know it was from me so you threw it away. And my love in vain.

The moral of this story is that sometimes you need to take chances. If you change yourself too much, the things you had originally wanted will pass you buy because when they are finally yours, you won't recognize them. Take care. Be good to yourself. And always use all of your heart because even though it may hurt you, we all know it's better to have than not, it's better to have loved and lost than not loved at all, it's because we believe it is the experience that determines who we are and not so much the things you pass on the way. Love and Live. Fear not...

SHIT FUCK MOTHERFUCKER I had a mother fucking good night. Many handshakes with the Maker's Mark ending with a song by a godess of voice and keys. I knew before she started it would floor me. She was like a drug. And it didn't matter that she paid me little attention when I told her how gorgeous her new song was. And it doesn't matter how untouchable my mind tells me she should be. And there's the chance I never see her again, but the world is too small to keep me pessimistic. One day I may cradle her and make her breath mine. Or otherwise the world is too big and I may never see her again. I'd like to bet against that. And I hope for good odds. So lace up your brown suede boots and take your black velvet coat cause it gets cold out there. I loved how you made me fly and I'd surely put my hands on you. Oh what a wicked song this siren sings.

you ever feel like ripping your tongue out and hammering a nail into your head?