Oh My God. She's moving out? That's FUCKING AWESOME!!!! I can swing three weeks. I really can.

On the other hand:

YOU WANT TO RENEW OUR LEASE AT $1565/MONTH?!?!?!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

don't worry. I'm just changing.

Sometimes I feel strong but I think that's normal.

I'm scared of myself. I need help but I'm deadly afraid to ask. It makes me want to cry.

Dick.

So, am I to understand that this is the fourth time in the last few months you've bounced a check to me? I am getting a little bit tired of this. And this time it's the rent check, so I'm out hundreds of dollars because you signed up for a meal delivery system because you are too lazy to NOT eat fast food three meals a day? Ok. And therefore you can't give me the money that you owed me ten days ago until the end of next week, because you keep buying assloads of expensive makeup, a nano, a diet meal program plan thing, and then little "presents" to assuage the guilt you feel at STILL not having saved a penny for a major expense that you know will be around a thousand dollars that you'll need to manage by May. I am goddamn sick of this.

But the worst thing is how surprised you always are when you overdraw your account. HOW can you be THAT surprised? You probably wrote the damn check with your fingers crossed that money would magically appear in your account after you wrote it. I'm fucking pissed. AGAIN. You know what? I hope you don't save any money. I hope you don't manage to buy this thing you need to buy. Because right now I want to strangle you. And no I don't want you to give me seven hundred dollars in cash. That's the stupidest idea you've had yet. FUCK.

I Just Figured it Out

I've always been very good at telling you 'hard truths' about yourself. I can explain down to the foundation what your transgressions have been and I know why you don't understand these things about yourself. I know you. I know you better than you know you. But I just figured out why that doesn't make me whole.

I want you to tell me something that's hard to hear. I want you to tell me something about myself that I don't know. What horror, what delightful useful horror it must be! That's what I want. That's all I want.

I need this.

fe-mails

I wish junk mailers would stop calling me by my first name. They don't know me that well and when I write them back to see if they want to hang out, they don't even respond.

Ausreisser

You know what I'm sick of? People telling me I can't do something because I did something else. That doesn't fucking define me. (I swore)