On Your Birthday

Eyes closed
And I feel my heart beat through my thumb
As it touches your lips
A pure fantasy at my finger tips
Hold them tight
And darkness light restores
For if I open them
You become memory once more

Just shut up

Leaving whiny away messages about how you have no friends is not going to make you any more. "Nobody likes me, not even if I bribe them with free food and beer and it's my birthday" does not make me feel sorry for you ... it just makes me glad that I dumped your ass and don't have to deal with you.

Seriously. Be a man (even just a little weeny ounce of man) and keep that bullshit to yourself ... or at least just between you and your mommy.

OH yeah

Sometimes it is just good to drink. YES, good times.

Her Astonishment From The Size Of Your Dick Will Be Almost As Big As Your Penis

Yes, ladies, prepare to feel "astonishment."

And. Are we friends or not? Everyone and the mayor. But you have better things to do.

Things I Only Think About

I used to have such a crush on you but
now seeing you has just faded into a fantasy

I think I count 3 times outside of work
is this the person you want to be in my life?

I took the "Kicks Ass" off your name in my phone and replaced it with your last

Did the teacher quit or just go on vacation?
Maybe she never took the job to begin with.