(verses to the tune of "Jolene" by Dolly Parton)
(sticking to the rules of TRB, names have been omitted but the "*" is supposed to be two-syllables)

Dark brown hair and light brown eyes
Tough exterior but sweet insides
Doesn’t fret from cock-ring fear, *

Vodka, eggs, nor root beer floats
Will find a path on down her throat
Takes a straw to drink her beer, *

First date called my mom a whore
Probably deserved that shower door
Doodles and stares to pass the time, *

Wants her men so smart and tall
Hopefully returns the call
If I reach out my hand to her, *