Other Than This World

Yesterday I went shopping at Target for the first time in a long time. Kind of a depressing experience...but that's not the point of this story. I bought a really soft pair of sleeping pants. They were $10. I was pretty happy about that.

Going to sleep this evening I put them on. Ohhhh so soft. So nice.
Laying in bed, falling asleep, ideas running through my head. Nope, that can wait for tomorrow. Todays over. ahhh, relaxing into sleep...in my nice new soft cotton pants.

Half-asleep. Hand on my leg. Oh there's pockets in these pants. Cool. Reach into pocket. There's something in my pocket. It feels plasticky. Rubbery. I didn't put anything in my pocket. Huh? I started pulling it out. It's kind of wet. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. It just spilled on my side and onto my bed. I sit up. Turn the light on. OH MY FUCKING GOD. THERE WAS A USED FUCKING CONDOM IN MY NEW FUCKING PANTS AND IT JUST SPILLED ALL OVER MY BED AND MY BODY. HOLY SHIT. I want to puke. Recapping this makes me gag. oh jesus.

Well that didn't really happen but I did get these new soft pants and I did reach into the pocket while falling asleep. There was nothing there. But you can imagine what it would have been like if there were!