no end to this crush is in sight.

I am totally and completely not even trying to bitch here. I just want to remorselessly go on and on about how much fucking fun I am having with this guy. I can't stop smiling, my cheeks are, like, sore from it. I have so much fun with him. I feel like I can honestly be myself---the best version of myself--- with him, and I've never had that before. I can be goofy. He likes it. I can be neurotic. He likes it. He laughs at my jokes, and makes even cheesier ones. I feel like I could be around him for days and days in a row without getting sick of him. What a novelty. It scares me how great this is, though, like the bottom will drop out any minute. I don't want to destroy it like I tend to do with everything else. I'm trying really hard not to completely wig out and disappear on him. So far, so good.

How could you be so immature? I've never met anyone so unwilling to learn from mistakes. no fucking wonder you're unhappy. this is getting ridiculous and sometimes, a lot of times, i can't wait to get the fuck out of here. sayonara, right? Youll miss me when i'm gone

I drank entirely too much wine

If I give you something with my eyes closed and it's there when I open them, does it mean you don't want it or you don't need it or does it mean you wanted to give it first and I offset you? If things don't turn out the way you intend just close your eyes and try them again.

I like changing what things mean just by doing something else

I love knowing. Tell me something, how does it feel to want?

Touch Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me

I love letting go just a little bit...

There's No Crying In Baseball!

I would just like to say that I find it extraordinarily irritating when people I don't like and I don't want read my blog and call their other lame friends to tell them what my blog may say, like, if one of their friends is out of internet contact for some reason and god forbid not be able to obsessively check my blog. I mean, shit, I know I'm fascinating to read but I just want to smack some people because, you know, my blog is great and stuff but I don't want HER sitting around with all her stoner friends reading it and giggling at my hilarious plights.

So piss off. I found her myspace account and I'm mocking it endlessly in my head.

Fucking Retards

Drunk people aren't funny when I'm not also drunk. GET OFF MY PORCH YOU MORONS.

To Whom it May Concern

If the future is bothering you, don't think about it so much. It hasn't happened yet. Deal with now otherwise you might get hit by a truck. Then you don't get that future anyway.

Lessons from Me to You

The reason poop smells so bad is because you're not supposed to eat it.

They Call Them the Diamond Dogs

Say this with me: Fuck not feeling like I'm good enough. Fuck asking if this is normal before I do something. When you feel down, fuck everything else. For once start asking, is this normal for me? That's all that should matter. I'm going to start becoming more familiar with myself.

Dream a Little Dream with Me

The other night I had a dream and in the dream I came up with some really good idea and even though when I woke up I couldn't remember what the idea was, I knew it was a good idea because I was still really excited about it. Now usually when I let myself completely forget about something, it won't resurface. Not the case here though. Just now as I was cutting my fingernails over the trash can in my bathroom, I remembered the idea I had forgotten that had gotten me so excited the other morning. After just doing a load of laundry I noticed that some of the protein stains on my boxers (especially the white ones), we'ren't coming out and ended up looking yellowish and I'd had to throw them away (mostly because it wasn't very appetizing). So in my dream I realized the solution to my problem; from now on, cum on the same pair of boxer shorts instead of using a different one each time. It's a solid plan. I'm sure this is something girls figured out years ago and never cared to share with any of us because we all know how attractive those blood stains can be. Hooray for boobies!

You don't seem to understand. There is a huge difference between my keeping something private because it's private and me keeping something private because I'm hiding it from you. I'm not like you. I'm not an open book. It's not because I am ashamed, it's not because there's something wrong with me. And you don't get to try and make me feel like there is something wrong with me because of it. It's just how I am. Get over it.

this is going to sound funny but it's not. I feel bad for making fun of crackheads so much. I should stop. It's really funny lately though.

Taking Responsibility

I think that the responsible thing to do, when you've decided to retract your affections when the other party has not, is to make the other person hate you. It is only fair. This thing where you continue to be nice to the other person because "hey, I'm a nice person, people like me" is overplayed. The kinder, more appropriate response in the long run is to be an asshole. Make fun of them, tell lies, talk loud and to everyone about how silly the other person is. And by all means, if you ever say "you are the perfect _________ (insert your preferred gender here)" in a tone of voice that indicates there may or may not be a "but...." following? I think that gives off the loathsome odor of a distinct will to be mildy maimed in a not so tragic accident. It is a lot easier to get over someone stupid and mean than someone who just keeps fucking around.

A schooner is a sailboat!

Hiding

I'm in the process of moving my blog. I've already changed the location, title, and description but my old one is still up. This bitch that I hate reads my blog and I've had enough. I'm excited for the day when they take my old one down, so she goes to the site and it says, "Page does not exist."

How's that for ya, you fucking idiot.

whoever changed the title of this blog is my personal hero

it didn't bother me before cause it was all a big joke, but after hearing the word "girlfriend", I'm now angered more than I thought I would be. it was all fun and games until i lost out. and _____ _____ fucking took her after I told him to stay away. cock fucker

Let's All Ruminate Together

Pet Peeve: When someone has clearly been writing a manuscript and has been using the word "ruminate" a lot whilst writing the manuscript and then you have to sit through a meeting with this person and she uses the word "ruminate" incorrectly about six thousand times and it leaves you scratching your head wondering how in the fuck this person got to a position of any kind of prestige whatsoever.

The word "ruminate" means to continually think on, to a destructive end, something bad or unpleasant that one has experienced personally. It is usually associated with depression, and is one reason why people who are depressed (to a clinical level) stay depressed. Because they sit around thinking about shit and how shitty that shit is.

So, an example of an INcorrect usage of the word "ruminate" would be something like the following:

"Errm, hummm, I think we need a better word here but I can't think of one right now. So, let's ruminate on that for awhile and see what we come up with."

For clarification: "rumination" does not, at least connotatively, does NOT mean "thinking." They are not interchangeable, there are reasons for having the word "thinking" and all its derivatives, and having options that make sense and then choosing to go ahead and misuse a word that has its own form and function and meaning is ANNOYING.

Another example of misuse:

"erhmm, yes, I am a total bitchcakes and I am going to drown you in boring work that you don't want to do, because I can, so ruminate that up your ass, motherfucker!"

I can scarcely believe that an adult said that to me!

Pet peeve: when people rape the phrase "begging the question" to try and make themselves sound smarter. When something makes you think of other questions, it makes you think of other questions, it does NOT "beg" any questions. "Begging the question" is a term from formal logic that means the truth of the conclusion to an argument is assumed by the premises. It is a logical fallacy, not a cute way to transition thoughts.

Let me clear this up.

NOT BEGGING THE QUESTION: Most people in the Midwest can be catagorized as fat and friendly. This begs the question: do people in the Midwest think they are fatter or friendlier than in other regions?

NOT BEGGING THE QUESTION: I am a douchebag who likes to pretend he knows fucking everything. Of course, this begs the question of whether I will always be a douchebag who abuses language to trick stupid people into thinking I'm smart.

BEGGING THE QUESTION: Since I'm not lying, I'm telling the truth.

It makes me want to fucking barf when people can't get a handle on this. STOP BEING SO FUCKING THICK, PEOPLE.

Blogs

Pet Peeve: When I go to a blog and the person hasn't updated it in a week. It's the internet. I need content now! If I wanted to read a book, I'd do that.

LAFCPUG

I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. I hate when I get in these moods because I have more trouble articulating my feelings more than I usually do. So fuck it cause it doesn't really matter. I feel like shit cause I just spent 3 hours in a room full of fucking dorks. Not nerds, DORKS. There's a fucking difference. And I think it pisses me off even more cause I can't pin down whats wrong. I have a headache. I'm gonna drink a beers and go night swimming.

fuckers

my ionic breeze is on the fritz and it keeps clicking even after I clean it. it's fucking obnoxious. i heard they don't even work. they make your air worse because they pump out excess ozone and cause breathing problems. fuck those guys!

Significant Others

Even though we may love our significant others, sometimes they are fucking idiots and piss me the hell off.

i don't understand money, i don't understand why that's what makes the world go round, i don't get it and i don't have any, it's not like i am just broke i am fucking really broke, and this sucks and i don't understand it and that sucks too.